The quintessential Ecuadorian bus ride can be summed up by the goings-on of our fellow pasajeros (passengers) on the 3 1/2-hr-long return trip from the jungle. So exaggerated, we felt we might turn around at anytime to find a candid camera.... It went like this:
5 am: Wake up call for 5:30 am canoe ride out of jungle. Ryan was awake already, battling food poisening..... pobrecito!
6:30 am: Bus leaves Los Rios on a road resembling goat tracks. The cobble-strewn ¨highway´¨ has us bouncing along to blaring reaggeton (every driver´s favorite choice).
6:31 (stop), 6:33 (stop), 6:35 am (stop):
Pasajero, pasajero with bebe, pasajera emborazada (pregnant) with three bebes....
7 am: Shirtless, ruthless, abnoxious man enters bus, either still drunk from the previous night´s festivities, or WAY too excited to be traveling to Tena. Proceeds to cause such a commotion, leaning over Ryan´s lap to distract the bus driver as he maneuvers down the road, we wonder if he works as a (bad) stand-up comic. Constantly shakes home-made rattle to reaggeton beat.
8 am: ¨Non-stop¨ bus stops at market, brightly colored and full of nothing useful. We sit smelling food in the distance (but unable to scope it out for fear the bus may take off without the gringos). CD on loudspeakers starts to skip. We dare the devil to think of a punishment crueler than skipping reaggeton.
8:30 am: Driver returns and reverses for three blocks to prolonge his glance at female market-goers in too-tight pants.
8:31 (stop), 8:34, 8:37 (stop), 8:37 1/2 am:
Pasajero, near accident, pasajero, abnoxious man yelling....
9:30 am: (Isn´t the ride supposed to have ended by now?) Nope, not without the final remaining element of any bus ride in Ecuador: vendors.
9:32 am: LOUDEST man in South America enters the bus and proceeds to ¨sell¨ a magic, cure-all formula to pasajeros with his amazing art of persuasion. I sure don´t believe the powder cures impotence, diabetes, athletes foot and cancer. But if it can make me yell that loud, I´m sold.
10 am: Arrival at destination Tena: the side of the road (weren´t we going to the bus terminal?). Oh well! At least we made it! We decide with our better judgement to postpone the other 5-hr bus ride from Tena to Baños. Better luck mañana.
5 am: Wake up call for 5:30 am canoe ride out of jungle. Ryan was awake already, battling food poisening..... pobrecito!
6:30 am: Bus leaves Los Rios on a road resembling goat tracks. The cobble-strewn ¨highway´¨ has us bouncing along to blaring reaggeton (every driver´s favorite choice).
6:31 (stop), 6:33 (stop), 6:35 am (stop):
Pasajero, pasajero with bebe, pasajera emborazada (pregnant) with three bebes....
7 am: Shirtless, ruthless, abnoxious man enters bus, either still drunk from the previous night´s festivities, or WAY too excited to be traveling to Tena. Proceeds to cause such a commotion, leaning over Ryan´s lap to distract the bus driver as he maneuvers down the road, we wonder if he works as a (bad) stand-up comic. Constantly shakes home-made rattle to reaggeton beat.
8 am: ¨Non-stop¨ bus stops at market, brightly colored and full of nothing useful. We sit smelling food in the distance (but unable to scope it out for fear the bus may take off without the gringos). CD on loudspeakers starts to skip. We dare the devil to think of a punishment crueler than skipping reaggeton.
8:30 am: Driver returns and reverses for three blocks to prolonge his glance at female market-goers in too-tight pants.
8:31 (stop), 8:34, 8:37 (stop), 8:37 1/2 am:
Pasajero, near accident, pasajero, abnoxious man yelling....
9:30 am: (Isn´t the ride supposed to have ended by now?) Nope, not without the final remaining element of any bus ride in Ecuador: vendors.
9:32 am: LOUDEST man in South America enters the bus and proceeds to ¨sell¨ a magic, cure-all formula to pasajeros with his amazing art of persuasion. I sure don´t believe the powder cures impotence, diabetes, athletes foot and cancer. But if it can make me yell that loud, I´m sold.
10 am: Arrival at destination Tena: the side of the road (weren´t we going to the bus terminal?). Oh well! At least we made it! We decide with our better judgement to postpone the other 5-hr bus ride from Tena to Baños. Better luck mañana.
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